A Crystal McCahill Post Is Always Good
One half of the hottest (and only) mother-daughter Playmate combo in Playboy history is beginning to make her mark. And here’s a hint: it’s not Crystal McCahill’s AARP-eligible mother.
No disrespect to Momma McCahill, for we are sure she is very lovely in a June Cleaver sort of way, but we get the sneaking suspicion the all-important 18-49 male audience would prefer we link to images a little more, uh, appropriate.
Unless, of course, you’re into the older women, in which case you’ll have to get your fix somewhere else.
Crystal was asked to seductively pose in the nude for a photographer and a host of other creepy crew members in last month’s edition of Playboy—and we have the pictures to prove it (NSFW, obviously), albeit one month after the fact.
This post would have appeared sooner, but, frankly, we’ve been a little too busy lately with things other than your salacious porn habit.
If pictures of Crystal still won’t do it, you have one of two options: 1) start dating men, or 2) book the poor girl for a magazine signing to be held in your windowless van parked in a vacant lot.
Vanessa Minnillo Makes Her Citizen Fall Debut
It’s a mystery as to how we’ve managed to go this long without mentioning the breathtaking Vanessa Minnillo, but we’ve done it. Consider this making up for lost time.
In our defense, she hasn’t exactly been making headlines lately. Perhaps that’s because she’s been busy nurturing her annoyingly normal relationship with Nick Lachey, who, by the way, we don’t resent because he’s not a blatant douche.
The best thing about Vanessa is that she never seems to alter her look. She’s barely deviated from the hotness with which she exploded on the scene as an MTV veejay. Years later, though a little more grown up and refined, Vanessa still gets us all sweaty and bothered.
Yahoo! Sports Takes the Release of the NFL Schedule Way Too Seriously
The 2009 NFL season is still five months off, but, as always, a steady diet of draft coverage has kept football relevant among the many sports media outlets.
And in a day and age when keeping up with the Jonses is the name of the game, those outlets continually battle to one up each other, even if it means tirelessly covering topics that hold no entertainment value of any kind.
Enter Yahoo! Sports, an emerging player in the world of diluted sports print journalism, which has followed the likes of ESPN by analyzing the piss out of the newly released NFL schedule.
Who has the so-called most difficult schedule? Which team is guaranteed at least 12 wins?
Who really gives a shit?
The truth is, in an era of the NFL when any team can go from divisional bottom-feeder to wild-card Super Bowl champ overnight, such projections are essentially meaningless.
But that didn’t stop Yahoo! from trying. Among the biggest winners of the schedule’s release? Tom Brady and Terrell Owens, of course. Brady is expected to arise from his offseason of weddings and being dragged around by his Johnson to lead the immortal Pats to another championship run, while T.O. is allegedly prepared for a breakout season even though the Bills don’t have a quarterback worthy of being named an NFL starter.
Oddly enough, however, when it came to picking one of the schedule’s biggest losers, Yahoo! turned on its partner-in-crime. It chided ESPN for ruthlessly ridiculing the defenseless (and offense-less) Lions and throwing the league’s first winless team under the bus during the network’s schedule special.
The network’s duo of Trey Wingo and Merril Hoge verbally flushed the Lions down the toilet every chance they got during ESPN’s schedule-release special. After awhile, it just came off as crass and unfunny. For what it’s worth, ESPN’s analysts chalked up losses for most of Miami’s games in the network’s 2008 schedule show, too.
Obama Has Bigger Things To Worry About, Like Soccer
This is yet another reason why soccer’s popularity has and will forever be stunted in the U.S.
According to Goal.com chief editor Andrea Canales, President Obama would be wise to drop his economical resurrection efforts in favor of playing a sport that, frankly, a majority of the American people could give two shits about.
Yes, it’s true that sports have made a habit of alleviating the strain of economical stresses throughout our nation’s history by taking our minds off of how bad our lives suck during a recession. But when was the last time soccer has been credited with lightening the spirits of the American public during a depression?
Or endearing itself to the masses by featuring players who take a hiatus from the sport to serve their country?
It’s also true that Obama’s daughters play recreationally, perhaps inheriting the skills of their father. But Canales takes advantage of an Obama quote stating the president enjoyed the feeling of unity on the sidelines of his daughters’ soccer games. Running with this opportunity, Canales insists Obama should pursue an effort to bring the World Cup to the U.S. and take his girls to numerous DC United matches.
Perhaps there will be time for kicking a checkered ball around the South Lawn when this whole financial crisis has blown over. Probably not, but maybe.
Linkage: Say Hello To E-Harmony’s Newest Member
Padres closer Heath Bell joins the club (San Diego Union-Tribune via Sports by Brooks)
Dana Allen wants you to play Connect the Tatoos (Gorilla Mask)
Jay Cutler’s vices follow him to Chicago (Not Qualified to Comment, New York Post)
It’s not every day you’re lucky enough to see a 1983 DeLorean (Observation Bubble)
Perhaps the cause was Glenn Beck wearing a sports coat with Chuck Taylors (Totally Crap)
After getting dumped by one, Lindsay joins E-Harmony in search of more 12-year-old boys (Spike)
Jamie Foxx tells a “little white bitch” to “do some heroin” (E!)
Perverts know no bounds…why on Easter, man? (WWTDD)
This would be less homosexual if it didn’t involve the phrase “explosive legs” and pairs of old-school Reebok tennis shoes [This is the pillar of ESPN's early 90s morning programming, by the way] (With Leather)
This doesn’t seem ergonomically possible, but who are we to judge innovation (Tasty Booze)
A Computer-Generated Preview of Our Demise To Hit Theaters Soon
more about “2012 trailers and video clips on Yaho…“, posted with vodpod
Here’s a look at the apocalyptic thriller 2012. If you’ve been boning up on your end-of-humanity scenarios, you’re well aware that the world as we know it is supposed to keel over and die on December 21, 2012, therefore fulfilling the prophecy foretold by the Mayan calendar, which, for reasons we’re not educated enough to understand, abruptly ends just three and a half short years from now.
And if you think that’s perturbing, try accepting the fact that mankind’s existence lies on the nimble feet of what appears to be a Tibetan monk, who will try to warn six billion people of the end of days by banging a log against an oversized bell from a remote mountain range.
Warning to Racist Rappers: Rashida Jones Will Crush You
This month’s DiLN is Rashida Jones, the breathtaking actor/singer/philanthropist whose beauty is outdone only by her braun. We’re not saying we like butch chicks; all we’re saying is that any woman who can turn Tupac Shakur into a quivering Steve Urkel of a bitch deserves our accolades.
Plus, for whatever reason, the nominees on our list have taken on a multi-cultural flavor. And Ms. Jones certainly fits the bill.
Linkage: Russell James Is Our New Favorite Photographer
The city of Toronto gets cut off from their Molson at the ballpark (Awful Announcing/With Leather)
Playboy includes tasers among golf tournament attendance prizes (Yardbarker)
NFL teams blur the line of ethical Facebook behavior (Sports by Brooks)
Redskins weed out the wholesome types by ghettofying cheerleader tryouts (Busted Coverage)
Speaking of cheerleaders, Abigail Klein seems fun (Uncoached)
The Simmons/O’Reilly feud that wasn’t fizzles out (Deadspin)
Mitsubishi gives us a thrill with 82 inches of pleasure (Gizmodo)
God bless you, Russell James (Totally Crap)
Reby Sky may be the only semi-professional quarterback with pierced nipples (Reby Sky.com)
One man who’s not sad to see Blockbuster taking one on the chin (Observation Bubble)
T.I. Likely To Grow Stronger While Behind Bars
No wonder why so many rappers aspire to be incarcerated. Why not, if all a little time in cell block B can do is improve your career and bring you closer to your fans? Not to mention provide you with a steady diet of supervised sodomy sessions in the community shower.
But thus is not necessarily the occupational philosophy of Clifford Harris.
Known on the streets as T.I., the Atlanta-born lyricist was recently sentenced to a year and one day in jail for weapons charges stemming from a 2007 arrest. In October of that year, Harris, who is not permitted to purchase firearms because of a prior felony conviction, was found in possession of enough machine guns and silencers to supply a large fraction of the 1920s New York Italian mafia.
Shortly after pleading guilty just over a year ago, however, Harris lamented his jail sentence but honorably vowed to find a silver lining surrounding his legal troubles. “While I’m not looking forward to being incarcerated, I have a long road of redemption to travel,” he told reporters outside the courtroom, according to The Associated Press.
“I’m looking forward to turning this negative time in my life into a positive. I’d like to thank God for blessing me with a second chance in life and success. I realize I completely violated the law, and I take it very seriously.”
Though a federal mandate related to the charges calls for more than four years in prison, Harris’ legal team concocted a creative and highly experimental plea agreement that, in addition to the time behind bars, carried a $100,300 fine and 1,500 hours of community service.
Harris is scheduled to be taken into custody no earlier than May 19. He is expected to serve only 298 days of his 366-day prison term.
In fulfilling part of the agreement, the 28-year-old Harris has traveled the country speaking to youth groups about the dangers of violence. To date, he has racked up 1,006 hours of service, many of which have been chronicled on MTV’s T.I.’s Road to Redemption: 45 Days to Go, a program that documents the rapper’s outreach efforts as he inches closer to his incarceration.
Despite the public humiliation, many rap enthusiasts contend this incident can only help Harris’ already flourishing career.
“I think that if anything, it will gain him more fans and actually support his fan base, because he’s talked about making a mistake,” said Emil Wilbekin, editor in chief of Giant Magazine, a publication focused on urban music. “He’s talked about taking care of the error of his ways.”
And more fans means more copies sold of his sixth album, Paper Trail, which has sold more than two million copies since being released. The inevitable increase in record sales will be piggybacked by projects that will still keep Harris in the spotlight during his absence. His label has announced it will create a remix version of Paper Trail to be released this summer, while several videos which Harris is in the process of shooting will be released during his jail term.
Efforts to keep Harris’ name fresh aside, there are those who believe the Grammy Award-winning artist will emerge from jail with even more to offer his throng of adoring patrons.
“His music reflects his experiences,” said Jason Geter, Harris’ business partner and co-owner of Grand Hustle Productions, the rapper’s label. “He makes himself vulnerable, and that’s why people like him so much. And people always love to hear a good drama.”
Meagan Good Seductively Defines Cultural Ambiguity
She looks just like Jessica Alba, if only Jessica Alba was one-eighths Puerto Rican, Jewish, African, Barbadian, Black, and four other races and cultures that we don’t care to mention.
She is Meagan Good, the chick with the best lips this side of Angelina Jolie and Mick Jagger.
For all we know, those two could have had a threesome with Denzel Washington to bring us this 21-year-old beauty.
Not that it really matters; Meagan’s hot and easy to look at. Which is good enough for us.
