Citizen Fall

Deadspin’s Daulerio reveling in one-of-a-kind text message

Posted in sports by ryedog on September 16, 2008

It all plays out like a Jaeger-induced nightmare.

Deadspin editor A.J. Daulerio is enjoying a plate of chicken quesadilla and red beans and rice when he receives a seemingly harmless text message.  Unphased by his surroundings, Daulerio decides to forgo the dinner etiquette that people so often forget to display at a Chili’s and calmly flips open his Motorola, expecting to see the name of his former D-Spin partner Will Leitch on the other side of the incoming treat.

Hilarity, giddiness, tears and embarrassment (the kind you feel when someone else is caught) all ensue…

“Hey, it’s Tanner Cooley.  I need to talk to you about my brother’s cock picture on the site. Call me.”

Yes, Tanner Cooley–brother of ‘Skins tight end Chris Cooley and keeper of #47’s blog.

Because Deadspin is all about being the first one to post a compromising picture of an athlete with his Genoa salami hanging afoul, Daulerio and his army were quick to act the second they found out Cooley (the player) had accidentally (we think) snapped a picture of his snake-and-nugget-pouch combo while working on an entry for his blog prior to Washington’s game at home against New Orleans Sunday.  According to Tanner, his brother had taken a pic of a quiz all players are required to complete before each week’s game, when the camera embedded in his laptop, which was situated in his crotchal region, caught the entire quiz—and them some.

It was only a matter of time before the pics of the Pro Bowler’s kibbles and bits swept across the sports blogoshpere and, thus, signalled the making of a potential PR nightmare.  It wasn’t until after the tight end had posted the pictures that Tanner, who usually takes it upon himself to publish the blog’s material, logged onto a computer at FedEx Field and found his sibling’s member staring back at him.

Now panicked and ridden with shame (at the fact that the ‘Skins don’t incorporate a three-tight end set in third-and-short packages, you pervert), Tanner phones Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post, from whom he acquires the number of the aforementioned Daulerio.

Hence the subsequent text that will go down in history for stringing together the words “my,” “brother,” “cock,” and “picture” and not even coming close to sounding the least bit homosexual.

Deadspin Story . Cooley’s Apology

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