Citizen Fall

Tit for Tat

Posted in Linkage by ryedog on October 24, 2008

Because we could always use the reciprocal scratch on the back, it’s nice from time to time to get an idea of what our fellow bloggers-in-arms are busy doing for little or no compensation:

Back Cover

  • Ever get the feeling that your mother, in all her 70s-inspired glory, took a wrong turn down a one-way street and ended up being seduced by the 10,000 thread-count, satin sheets of one Mr. Wilt Chamberlin?  No?  Well, The World of Isaac has stumbled upon a formula that may disprove your theory and confirm that Ms. June Cleaver wannabe was just another notch on The Stilt’s bed post.
  • It appears that a couple of the staff members at Holy Taco held a lengthy, THC-induced symposium on the merits of Lauren Conrad’s abbreviated acting career.  If it were up to these guys, the twenty-something “The Hills” star would be mulling over her lack of talent while sucking from her parent’s money teat.
  • The mandatory lip curl.  Hair gelled so extensively that you’d swear you feel sorry for the guy.  Attire characterized by a popped collar, a tribal-embroidered tee and over-sized, extreterrestial shades.  All fine tags used to describe what was once a mere blip on the social radar.  But to the dismay of self-respecting people everywhere, the douchebag has gained a significant foothold in our society, and its seed is sprouting an epidemic.  In order to help extinguish the rapidly spreading flames, you must first learn how to properly identify your victim.  But be wary of the bronzer…
  • Nowadays, when sex and sports continue to be muddled into one big, hot mess, it’s downright hard to distinguish which female sideline reporter takes the cake.  Easy solution:  Take equal parts from all of your lovely favorites and combine them until the sum is up to snuff with your fantasies.  Busted Coverage will provide you with the blueprints.  The rest is up to you, Dr. Perv.

 Ladies

  • As if by some form of testosterone ESP, COED Magazine has captured the best scene in small screen history (with the exception of that one time Jack Bauer tortured his own brother), featuring my Number One, Olivia Wilde.  There’s no telling what Megan Fox will strangle next once she feasts her eyes on this little clip.
  • Who knew the brightest star of “Ugly Betty” had thighs to rival those of NFL fullback Lorenzo Neal?  Before you get the entirely wrong idea, simply imagine the 265 lb. Neal in spandex pants and a half shirt, so that these recent pictures of one Lindsay Lohan, via What Would Tyler Durden Do, seem all that more appealing.
  • A favorable verdict may be withstanding on British TV personality Jodie Marsh, but that doesn’t mean the exhibitionist/tabloid queen is discriminating against whose boys get the shot at penetrating her egg.  Bright Black Internet reports that Marsh, a weird mix of SI swimsuit model and emo band roadie, is currently on the lookout for the first bloke willing to make a baby the old-fashion way–in a petri dish.  If you have some time to kill this weekend, give these pics a try and think it over.
  • Perhaps one of the blog world’s most pithy innuendos, Salty Milk thrives on obliterating subtlety when it comes to providing us with snapshots of some of the land’s most outstanding female citizens.  And if there’s any one thing we love more than thinking up pet names for our bodily fluids, then it’s gotta be girls with two-part first names.  Okay, blah, blah, blah…I got it.  Here’s Sara Jean Underwood

Sports

  • Awful Announcing explains that ESPN college football analyst and Notre Dame enthusiast Lou Holtz will not be punished by network executives for his recent comments that implied Adolf Hitler was an upstanding role model.
  • I suppose when you’re 2-5 it helps to brainstorm new and innovative ways of talking shit to your equally futile conference opponent.  This little video produced by the creatives at AggieReport.com, which just happened to be intercepted by Deadspin, shows not only that loyal Texas A&M fans are mentally strong enough to shrug off the shortcomings of the Big 12 South cellar-dwellers, but sympathetic towards the plight of anyone who lives in the state of Iowa.
  • Bleacher Report gives its preview of Week 8…in LIMERICKS.  Enough said.
  • Oh, it’s got the makings of a great drama.  Two organizations who pride themselves on shady business practices; one dabbles in illegal surveillance, one in hiring questionable on-air personalities who can’t keep their bigotry-infested traps shut long enough to tell us what is going on west of the East Coast.  It’s the New England Patriots vs. ESPN.  And this time it’s medical, as in the he said, she said status surrounding Tom Brady’s knee infection.  Only The Big Lead can give you the latest.

Politics/Liquids (because you can’t have one without the other)

  • As it turns out, the highest paid McCain staffer is not the presidential nominee himself.  The Huffington Post is here to blow your top off.
  • The political laughing post, 23/6, is a great source if you like your insight to be incredible skewed, which we do.  In fact, we enjoy nonsensical babble so much, that we couldn’t help but advertise this nugget from Larry David.  Yes, that Larry David.
  • Forget Spud McKenzie, the damn lizards and those lifeless Clydestales.  Slosh Spot has got 17 vintage beer ads that pushed the liquid gold by utilizing a no-frills approach around a time when it was socially acceptable to have a white butler.
  • Equal parts socialized health care and higher taxes, the tasty Obamamama is a visually appealing drink that passes surface-level tests.  However, delve a bit deeper, and you’ll discover that the Reposado Ulitmo Tequila may be a bit too pricey for us middle class folk, while the mixture of blue curacao and sour mix promises to leave a nasty after taste.  The Bachelor Guy has libations served up for any occasion, including the upcoming election and Halloween.     
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