Citizen Fall

The Imperfect Top 10

Posted in College Football, sports by ryedog on November 3, 2008

So much is made of these rankings in college football nowadays, it’s a wonder NCAA officials don’t slap numbers on these kids’ backs and sell them off to the highest bidder come bowl season.  Or does that already happen?  Anywho, if the polls were generated at the CF offices, they’d look a little like this:

 

Florida Gators (7-1):  Because the score of the Georgia game still would have been 42-10 had the linesman actually managed to pull his head out of his ass long enough to call that offensive pass interference penalty on Gator WR Louis Murphy

 

 

USC Trojans (7-1):  Because beating winless Washington is like either playing keep-away from a gang of handicapped kids in rusty wheelchairs, or telling your buddies you scored with a blind girl.  We can’t tell…

 

 

 

Alabama Crimson Tide (9-0):  Because Nick Saban’s contract money goes a loooooong way, especially towards paying off the likes of Arkansas State to play in Tuscaloosa in early November

 

 

Texas Tech Red Raiders (9-0):  Because the adoring throng of Tech faithful acted as if it had no clue how to handle gridiron euphoria, encompassing the edges of the field like the spectators at a goddamn cockfight in the waning seconds against Texas

 

 

Penn State Nittany Lions (9-0):  Because Joe Paterno’s khakis-and-white-socks-with-black-shoes combination is undoubtedly one of college football’s most indelible images.  It’s just too bad the incredible thickness of the long-rim spectacles take off some of the luster

 

 

Texas Longhorns (8-1):  Because Colt McCoy didn’t take the time to pry his tear-logged mug from that towel the entire second half long enough to watch the defense give his offense a shot in Lubbock

 

 

Oklahoma State Cowboys (8-1):  Because Cowboy financial backer and oil tycoon Boone Pickens can’t wait for gas prices to go back up so he can afford to put the finishing touches on that jewel-encrusted crown for head coach Mike Gundy

 

 

 

Oklahoma Sooners (8-1):  Because any Big 12 team with a pulse that has played Nebraska on national television has found it just as easy to put up 50+ points on the Cornhuskers

 

 

 

Utah Utes (9-0):  Because we are all bracing for the inevitability of a loss this coming weekend to no.12 TCU and then another setback two weeks later against BYU

 

 

Boise State Broncos (8-0):  Because the infatuation with the Smurf Turf is wearing off to the point where we are wondering what else there’s to see in Idaho

No cigar:                      

All logos courtesy of Logo Shak

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