Citizen Fall

This Whole ESPN Thing Is Catching On

Posted in ESPN, sports by ryedog on February 18, 2009


The Worldwide Leader in Sports is all growsed up.

After years of putting in the proverbial dues, ESPN finally seems ready to go big-time. Thus, several members of the close-knit Bristol, Conn., family will pack their packs and head West, to the land of fake breasts and even faker personalities.

Among those making the coast-to-coast jump will be SportsCenter anchors Neil Everett and Stan Verrett and wannabe celeb Stuart Scott.

We assume the westward expansion will mean ESPN gets to create a whole new bias—one that rivals that of the East Coast but is three hours behind.

What else to expect from ESPN’s upcoming West Coast presence:

  • Pac-10 athletic events on…a lot
  • Erin Andrews asked to cover numerous midday games that require considerably breathable clothing
  • Quarterbacks from USC, Oregon, and UCLA dominate Heisman ballots for the next 10 years
  • Stuart Scott frequents the pages of TMZ
  • Hannah Storm caught by the paparazzi strolling down Robertson Boulevard wearing jean cut-offs and Team A-Rod T-shirt

The fun kicks off April 6.

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