Citizen Fall

Sure-Fire Ways To Get Her To Flash That “Oh!” Face

Posted in Romance by ryedog on March 6, 2009

Nobody likes a faker, ladies—especially us men.

It’s one thing to pull a Paul Pierce, stage a leg injury, and act your way to NBA Finals heroics. But it’s an entirely different animal to falsely build your man’s confidence by throating a porn star performance when you’d rather be watching The Bachelor.

But we’re becoming privy to your Academy award-winning ways.

Guys, all we need to do is follow four easy methods set forth by Ask Men and our ladies will have no choice but to drop the act as she makes it a habit of praying out loud. Prepare yourself for a symphony of window-shattering high C’s.

Step One: Invest in some cheap-ass cologne—because smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, and you may have been wearing Stetson back when you were prolific enough that she didn’t have to fake it.

Step Two: Do it with just your socks on. Something about warm feet turns good girls into unbridled sex goddesses.

Step Three: Tongue at 10 and two. We’ll leave it up to you to interpret.

Step Four: Mind the spine. Confusing, to say the least. But what do you have to lose?

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  1. […] you’re single, trying to figure out the biology of a woman is as useless and futile as trying to bag one. They say a woman likes to be pursued, but that […]

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