Citizen Fall

Camilla Belle: Prehistoric hotness defined

She is the vixen of a newcomer who makes the ragged wardrobe and lax personal hygiene habits of 12,000 years ago seem somehow wholesome. Her truthful blue eyes and genuine smile suggest she may live next door, but her fiery stare accentuated by her trademark brows tells a different, less PG story. She is Camilla Belle: the 21-year-old actress who plays the part of Evolet—the young, prophecy-fulfilling slave woman and love interest of the main character, D’Leh—in the war-love epic “10,000 B.C.”

Belle is the main reason I aspired to see this film when its preview was initially released some nine months ago, but a flood of crappy reviews deterred me. What a fool I can be. While it would have been quite the experience to witness Belle’s angelic features in all their high-definition glory on the big screen, I more than enjoyed gawking at her limited number of scenes and taking in her even more limited dialogue on my makeshift home-theater system. It’s rather unfair to dismiss Belle’s performance as stagnant, simply because of the fact she was underutilized. And that’s especially disturbing to my fellow man who shares in my appreciation for her heavenly temple of a frame, from head to toe.

At first glance—and second and third—Belle seems to be the perfect mix of your high school valedictorian/class president and that girl who excelled at running with the in- crowd but wouldn’t hesitate to help pick up your books after they got toppled by some future plumber of a jock. On a deeper, more twentysomething level, she is a picture-perfect concoction of brains colliding with beauty, with a heart to match her future-bride potential. The aspiring classical pianist speaks three languages fluently, and when she isn’t making the rest of us feel ignorant, she is putting our spiritual prowess to shame by spending her time giving to multiple charities. She’s even the spokeswoman for Kids With a Cause, a non-governmental organization dedicated to helping disadvantaged children world-wide.

It’s enough to make you sick…sick in love. And with a resume this impressive and looks to match, why think twice about letting her meet the parents? I’m sure she and mom will hit it off so well that the two won’t even think twice about going shopping together, while you, dad and boys venture out to hit the links. When you’re not pinching yourself, remember that having a girl this beautiful—not to mention beautifully well-rounded— means you’ll never feel the need to cheat. Plus, something in those piercing eyes of hers tells me Ms. Belle wouldn’t be willing to put up with any of the BS anyway.

You can also catch this story at my weekly column, ‘The Brain Leak,’ for The National Sports Review.


One Response

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  1. camilla belle said, on January 5, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    You can also catch this story at my weekly column,

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