Citizen Fall

Week Thirteen in Review

1.  Plaxico Burress is a f$#%ing moron.

Plaxico, there's no need to to look over your shoulder when you're packing heat (AFP/Getty Images)

Plaxico, there's no need to look over your shoulder when you're packing heat (AFP/Getty Images)

I hear his attorney, Benjamin Brafman, loud and clear when he says we all need to withhold judgement until a verdict is handed down, and it appears Burress has nothing to hide, but come on.

New York Newsday reported Sunday that the 31-year-old Burress, who signed a five-year, $35 million extension with the Giants in September, has agreed to turn himself over to authorities “when requested.”

However, shortly after Burress accidentally shot himself in the thigh with a firearm at a Manhattan night club Friday evening, it was learned that the handgun was unlicensed in the state of New York.  The nine-year veteran now faces charges of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit, which is punishable by up to seven years in prison.

Apparently, Burress’ expired permit to carry a concealed weapon in the state of Florida is a no-go in New York.

Even if Burress did have a valid concealed-weapon permit, is it really necessary to carry a handgun into a swanky Manhattan bar?  Have insecurity issues in the NFL reached the point to where players no longer feel safe in densely populated locations?

Maybe so.  But it’s still hard for me to understand what good, if any, can come from concealing a weapon in your pocket right before entering a crowded night club, where even the slightest bump, vibration, or movement can send a stray bullet spiraling in any given direction.

2. The engaging NFL action that commonly defines the Thanksgiving holiday took a year off.

The only thing less arousing than listening to Matt Laurer intimately describe the passing balloons of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was watching the Detroit Lions reach a pinnacle of ugliness.

It used to be that no matter how bad the Lions played during the course of the season, they always brought it on Turkey Day, giving the faithful patrons at the Pontiac Silverdome a memorable holiday experience, win or lose.  What a long time ago that was.

Now, people with no families spend their Thanksgivings sporadically splattered in the Ford Field stands with only brown paper bags to shield themselves from what is going on in front of them.

And the Lions’ 47-10 loss to the Titans was merely an appetizer.

As families began carving their birds and pouring the gravy, the Cowboys/Seahawks game was already well into the sleeper stage, which, ironically, turned out to be a blessing.

For those who have Direct TV.

Arizona and Philadelphia rounded out the menu with a feel-good story on the NFL Network that effectively put us all into a late evening holiday coma.  Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb turned a week worth of turmoil into his own Thanksgiving miracle, passing for four touchdowns in Philly’s 48-20 win over the Cardinals. 

For those of us who couldn’t push down the delicious stuffing far enough, the NFL slate was hard to stomach.

The only thing left to do was to surrender to painful dry-heaving during the Texas Longhorns’ 49-9 beating of Texas A & M.

 

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