Citizen Fall

A Crystal McCahill Post Is Always Good

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on June 8, 2009

One half of the hottest (and only) mother-daughter Playmate combo in Playboy history is beginning to make her mark. And here’s a hint: it’s not Crystal McCahill‘s AARP-eligible mother.

No disrespect to Momma McCahill, for we are sure she is very lovely in a June Cleaver sort of way, but we get the sneaking suspicion the all-important 18-49 male audience would prefer we link to images a little more, uh, appropriate.

Unless, of course, you’re into the older women, in which case you’ll have to get your fix somewhere else.

Crystal was asked to seductively pose in the nude for a photographer and a host of other creepy crew members in last month’s edition of Playboy—and we have the pictures to prove it (NSFW, obviously), albeit one month after the fact.

This post would have appeared sooner, but, frankly, we’ve been a little too busy lately with things other than your salacious porn habit.

If pictures of Crystal still won’t do it, you have one of two options: 1) start dating men, or 2) book the poor girl for a magazine signing to be held in your windowless van parked in a vacant lot.

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Playmate Executive Leads AVP Into Sexually Themed Advertising Age

Posted in sports, Volleyball by ryedog on March 18, 2009

The Association of Volleyball Professionals—commonly referred to as the AVP by those who care about the sport—isn’t exactly a cash cow. Taking a back seat to nearly every major and irrelevant sport in the U.S., volleyball has long been a game dominated by abnormally tall women who don’t exactly elicit sexual arousal.

Perhaps that’s why the association is launching a new marketing campaign aimed at generating interest in tour events by prominently featuring the rumps of several female players—and not their host of unappealing traits (man shoulders/arms, six-pack abs, friction thighs). We won’t deny that most female volleyballers have incredible asses; it must be all that heavy-legged running in the sand.

There’s no doubt this strategy will cause tour revenue to shoot through the roof. It goes without saying that every time a red-blooded American male sees a round butt on a female, the blood drains from his brain, goes straight to his penis, and he immediately thinks of volleyball.

Supposedly it’s a demonstration in subliminal advertising. At least that’s what AVP vice president for business development and legal affairs Kristine Lefebvre seems to think. Lefebvre would know all about showing some skin for the sake of earning some extra cash. The former contestant on The Apprentice posed nude for Playboy in 2007.

Crystal McCahill Is Pretty, Even Under Duress

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on March 15, 2009

Since our first and only Crystal McCahill post seems to have gone over fairly well, we had planned on running another snippet featuring the Playmate’s killer eyes and abundance of other arousing features.

That is until we heard she is due in court on Thursday to contest a Jan. 7 drunken driving charge that occurred in Chicago.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the 25-year-old model and star of E!’s The Girls Next Door was found to have had a blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit when she was pulled over for running a red light last month in downtown Chicago.

McCahill claimed she had consumed three shots upon getting off from her job at a local nightclub, but the signs of inebriation sealed her fate. The arresting officer claimed McCahill, who is scheduled to be Playmate of the Month for May of this year, suffered from stammered speech, reeked of booze, and had a glazed look in her eye that would make Tommy Chong proud.

The incident doesn’t figure to have much of an effect on McCahill’s budding modeling career, at least we hope not. Take a second to pray that Crystal experiences a fruitful career void of court hearings while you take in some of the best of her early work.

Linkage: Brianna Frost Warrants A Cold Shower

Posted in Linkage by ryedog on March 13, 2009

Craig Clasen is nearing Chuck Norris status [Deadspin]

The people at PETA are passionate, not necessarily smart [E! Online]

Brianna Frost…good God! [Krazy Tube]

Proof that a guido didn’t invent Mr. Potato Head [Afrojacks]

Breaking into the Playboy mansion has gotten easier over the years [Asylum]

Clemens drops “trou” for Brian McNamee [Spike]

ESPN shoots down affiliate nudity [Sports by Brooks]

Somehow we knew Cindy Taylor (Brooke Burke’s successor on E!’s Wild On) was still alive [Uncoached]

SEC dominance is built on money, extra dedicated player tutors, and more money—not speed [EDSBS]

Niners QB Alex Smith recently married a former Raiderette; buy the happy couple a gift [Wedding Channel, via Deadspin]

Discover the Many Layers of Joanna Krupa

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on March 12, 2009

We all thought it started and stopped with Joanna Krupa teasingly parading around in  skimpy swimwear and lingerie for the likes of Maxim and Stuff magazines. It was all fine and good, but we needed more.

In July of 2005, Krupa obliged, and she did so beyond our perverse imaginations. Krupa thoughtfully left nothing to the imagination when she agreed to grace the pages of Playboy in a glorious spread that personified excellence in the operation of a steam machine and utilization of a fake beach backdrop.

But then the 29-year-old Polish-born hottie took it one step further yet, proving there’s more to her than just a body that won’t quit.

Careful not to rob us of the aesthetic pleasure, Krupa protested the use of fur as a fashion statement by posing nude for a PETA campaign in early 2008.

Our mission was complete. We found a gal who is willing to bare every fiber of her being for the sake of the endangered minx.

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Sara Jean Underwood Has a Favor To Ask of You

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on February 28, 2009

A short time ago, we brought you the story of Hugh Hefner’s recessional troubles, wherein a few cost-cutting techniques were being utilized to ward off what may become the imminent sale of Playboy magazine.

With the nudie empire in peril, it’s only a matter of time before some of the company’s less successful operations are eliminated, and for the purpose of this post, we’ll assume among those is the Bunny Shop, which is nothing more than another excuse to give us pictures of semi-naked women.

This is where you (and Sara Jean Underwood) come in, my friend.

I’ll make this short and to the point. Don’t make a pretty face like this worry because you were to lazy to help out. Sara has taken the time to model plenty of lingerie and other apparel at the online store so you would buy a $49.99 body stocking for no apparent reason.

Other than to keep Playboy functioning and out of the hands of foreign investors.

Playboy Looking For Buyers

Posted in Financial News by ryedog on February 19, 2009

It’s no secret the business of print media continues to suffer heavy losses as readers flock to computer screens and mobile devices for content—and that includes looking at naked women.

Citing a net loss of more than $150 million in 2008, as well as the departure of CEO Christie Hefner, daughter of founder Hugh Hefner, interim chairman and CEO Jerome Kern said that Playboy is open to a change in strategic direction.

And that includes the sale of the enterprise.

“Our financial performance is not reflective of [Playboy’s] potential,” Kern said in a statement. “Over the past several months, the company has accelerated the pace of expense reduction designed to bring our cost structure in line with current market realities and the positioning of our businesses going forward.”

The magazine’s revenue in 2008 was $292.1 million, down 14 percent from the 2007 figure of $339.8 million, with a significant portion of the losses being incurred during last year’s fourth quarter. As a result, Playboy expects a 27 percent slide in advertising dollars during the first quarter of 2009.

Kern took over for Hefner after she announced late last year she was going to step down by the end of January.

In a synergistic move to streamline production costs, the company decided last month to combine its print and editorial operations, as well as shut down its New York offices.

Erin Andrews Continues Playboy Dominance

Posted in College Football, Ladies by ryedog on February 13, 2009

Erin AndrewsBefore you run to Google and perform the tired “Erin Andrews nude” search, read on.

For the second time in as many years, the famed ESPN sideline sex symbol has been named Plaboy’s Sexiest Sportscaster of the Year. But by no means did Ms. Andrews run away from the pack like she did a year ago — with those looooong legs…

We’ve heard several darkhorses like Suzy Kolber, Michelle Tafoya, and Pam Oliver were beginning to close down the home stretch until their faces tripped them up.

Among those who posed the biggest threat to Erin’s maturing dynasty:

(From left to right: Charissa Thompson, Lauren Shehadi, Molly Sullivan, Bonnie Bernstein)

[Photo Credit]

Charissa Thompson Lauren Shehadi Molly Sullivan Bonnie Bernstein

Click on each candidate’s picture for more sexiness at work…

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A Playmate’s Guide to Gift Giving

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on December 17, 2008

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Ladies, we get it. So we’re not the best at picking out that ultimate Christmas present. But the truth is, we’d rather purchase the newest critically acclaimed adult DVD than spend our limited resources on something that requires us to set foot in Bath and Body Works.

All things considered, wouldn’t it be much sweeter and heart-felt to open something that the both of us can enjoy?

Well, no, not if Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain has anything to say about it.

And if you doubt Ms. Narain’s qualifications, take a look at her “body of work.”

For more infinite wisdom from other playmates, check out Spike.com.