Citizen Fall

Vanessa Minnillo Makes Her Citizen Fall Debut

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on April 16, 2009

It’s a mystery as to how we’ve managed to go this long without mentioning the breathtaking Vanessa Minnillo, but we’ve done it. Consider this making up for lost time.

In our defense, she hasn’t exactly been making headlines lately. Perhaps that’s because she’s been busy nurturing her annoyingly normal relationship with Nick Lachey, who, by the way, we don’t resent because he’s not a blatant douche.

The best thing about Vanessa is that she never seems to alter her look. She’s barely deviated from the hotness with which she exploded on the scene as an MTV veejay. Years later, though a little more grown up and refined, Vanessa still gets us all sweaty and bothered.

[Photo Credit]

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Kanye Charged With Multiple Misdemeanors

Posted in Celebrity by ryedog on March 18, 2009

west_arrestRapper Kanye West faces up to two and a half years in prison if convicted of a trio of misdemeanor charges stemming from an incident involving a paparazzo at Los Angeles International Airport last year.

According to reports, West was arrested on September 11 after breaking the camera of a TMZ photographer while making his way through one of the airport’s terminals, upon returning from his performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.

The entire incident was caught on video.

The Associated Press reported Wednesday that Los Angeles city prosecutors have charged West with vandalism, battery, and grand theft. His manager, Don Crowley, who broke both a still and video camera belonging to TMZ, has been charged with two counts of each misdemeanor.

Crowley faces up to five years in prison.

Both men are scheduled to be arraigned on April 14.

Corrie Loftin Doesn’t Need Paris Hilton To Be Irrelevant

Posted in Ladies by ryedog on March 12, 2009

We didn’t feel sorry for Corrie for getting the boot on Paris Hilton’s best friend tryouts because, frankly, she was a calculating bitch.

When you get down to it, it was actually a little humorous to see such a fake poser get rejected by the planet’s definition of childishness and vanity, which is pretty much the biggest insult you could ever receive.

The reason she was eliminated? Paris, playing the part of pot, decided it was time to call the kettle black, meaning she thought Corrie was too into herself.

But it takes no MTV exec to deduce that the move was necessary to uphold the “integrity” of the show when it was revealed Corrie is a Girls Gone Wild alum.

Oh, yeah…and she has some pretty compromising photos.

Loftin’s 15-minute celebrity life has gotten off to a fairly predictable start. Appear on meaningless reality television show? Check. Undergo breast augmentation and flash results of surgery all over internet? Check.

Land starting running back spot on a Lingerie Football Legue roster? Check.


Yep. Say hello to the bruising 5’5″, 123-pound back responsible for splitting carries for the Dallas Desire, which is set to begin play on Sept. 4.

We give it three games before Ms. Loftin blows out an ACL and is forced to appear on Paris Hilton: Wipe My Ass For Me to make ends meet.

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What Could Audrina’s Boobs Possibly Have To Say?

Posted in Celebrity, Ladies by ryedog on February 19, 2009

We guess Audrina Patridge has gotten so famous that she feels the need to mic herself regardless of where she goes. Either that, or MTV planted the audio cable in the circumference of her areola when she had the Spalding warehouse volleyballed to her breastplate.

Good God!

We’ll rule out a taping of The Hills, since watered down Coronas don’t fit in with the reality soap opera’s club scene of vodka tonics. So, perhaps Patridge is following up the success of Into the Blue 2 by auditioning her ta-tas for an upcoming spinoff destined to fit that 9:30 p.m. ET slot on VH1, smack dab between Rock of Love: Nursing Home of Non-Nubile Whores and Dead on the Outside, starring Mickey Rourke.

Or, as a third possibility, it could just be the arrogance that comes with getting paid $665,000 to do nothing.

[Photos courtesy of the awesome brahs at Brahsome]

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