Let a Sexually Confused GQ Staffer Make You a Better Man

So you say you’re sick of being chided for wearing jeans and Chucks to the every crucial social function?

Then what better way to get your fashion dilemmas straightened out than to take advice from a trio of GQ employees who aren’t sure whether they should dress for poaching penises or vilifying vaginas.

Pretentiously named GQ Rules, the month-long program provides you with videos loaded with style tips from three experts who promise to pass on their knowledge of dressing for sexual ambiguity.

One day may be dissecting the array of methods of tying a scarf layered over a T-shirt in the dead of summer, while the next will provide you with all you need to know about rocking a pair of skinny jeans just right, so that your bulge is adequately displayed for both sexes to enjoy.

At the end of the 30-day trial, you should emerge a better man with an even better grasp on bisexuality and a healthy credit card bill filled with charges for designer clothes that’ll likely never see the light of day.

Oh, yeah. You have to register, too.

Good luck.

[Photo Credit]

Linkage: Natalie Portman’s Cute When She’s Gangster

Dubya’s not ready to return to his blue collar days [BBC News]

How a non-story can arise out of nothing [Us Magazine]

Arnold dishes out advice for fellow steroid users [Associated Press]

Paleontologists excavate preserved mammoth skeleton in L.A. [CNN]

Has Natalie Portman ever been hotter? [NBC]

Some people just weren’t cut out for this whole digital transition thing [Spike]

And to think the shitty cell phone reception was all Verizon’s fault [Gizmodo]

Pornography without the whole degradation of women thing [Tasty Booze]

Top 50 athlete wives and girlfriends (WAGs) [Coed Magazine]

Tour of California: An Exercise in Rabid Cycling Fandom

Never again will we mock the sport of cycling for its unprecedented boredom level, obvious lack of rivalry, and inexplicable illegal substance abuse.

Because, of course, these pictures from Stage 4 of the Tour of California change all that. From this point forward, an army of men dressed in skin-tight clothing and pointy helmets racing 10 speeds will no longer take a back seat to international curling and recreational badminton.

A new dawn has broke in the world of professional cycling.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Syringe Man.

I guess we’ll never know this creature’s true intentions thanks to that buzz kill known as Lance Armstrong, who decides to dismiss his middle-aged fan by pushing him into the awaiting pile of snow, whereby the innocent caulk-gun-and-broomstick contraption is ruined.

[Photo Credit]